By: Dr. Nahrain Tavolacci
Sovereignty isn’t doing whatever you want. It isn’t rejecting every external influence, and it isn’t blindly trusting your own convictions. Sovereignty is having the courage to examine both.
Every one of us is guided by something. Sometimes it’s our own values. Sometimes it’s the values we’ve inherited without question. Sometimes it’s the loudest voice in the room. The real question isn’t whether we’re being influenced—we all are. The question is whether we’ve slowed down enough to understand what is actually leading our steps.
As a psychologist, I’ve learned that people are often far less objective than they believe. We project our wounds onto others. We idealize those we admire. We mistake familiarity for truth and certainty for wisdom. We become screens upon which others project their stories, and they become screens for ours. If we’re willing to pay attention, those moments reveal far more than conflict—they reveal us.
That is why I believe the pause is sacred.
Not because hesitation is weakness, but because discernment requires space.
A few conscious breaths.
A regulated nervous system.
A willingness to ask:
What am I reacting to?
What belief is driving this?
Is this truly mine, or did I inherit it?
Will this create more healing or more harm?
Our unhealed wounds rarely stay contained. They leak into our relationships, our parenting, our leadership, and the stories we tell ourselves about other people. Healing isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming increasingly aware of what we’re carrying before we hand it to someone else.
And perhaps the greatest illusion of all is believing we’ve arrived.
Self-awareness isn’t an achievement. It isn’t a credential. It isn’t a destination we reach one day and never revisit.
It is a lifelong practice of humility.
The more I learn, the more I realize there is still left to examine. That realization doesn’t make me less certain of who I am—it makes me more careful about who I believe myself to be.
That, to me, is sovereignty.