Written by: Nahrain Tavolacci, Psy.D.
While vacationing in northern Wisconsin, I found myself captivated by Loons with their chicks on their backs going for rides around the lake. I learned that the chicks become independent by 12 weeks of age. Thereafter, the parents hoot to communicate their desire to figure out one another’s location in an effort to maintain their loving connection to their chicks. I cannot imagine separating from my children that early.
My son left for college this year at 18 years of age and I remind myself every day since he left that I have done all I can at this point. My husband and I have raised a good human with a sound mind and kind heart. I have to trust that all things will work out for the highest and greatest good of humanity – an affirmation I chose to embrace and live by. The only control I have now is to remain the safe and loving support my son needs from me, when he needs me. While a loon hoots to their chicks, we humans do similar by texting or calling our children. Our effort is to communicate our love and support to our children as they navigate their environment with what we hope is pure confidence without losing their connection to us.
This stage in our development as parents causes many to reflect and question where the time has gone and whether or not we will survive the distance from our child. In the beginning, like loons, our children ride on our backs while we swim in our lakes. At some point, our children choose to swim or fly off to create a beautiful adult life for themselves.
While this transition can be full of mixed emotions, it welcomes the start of a new chapter for everyone involved, bringing adventure, pleasure, sorrow, pain, joy, and wisdom. This distance is partially responsible for the transformation in the self and our relationships over the lifespan of our attachments.
#ModernMePsychology #emptynesters #lifetransitions #parenting #mentalhealthmatters
